Monday, January 15, 2007
Married "Dirty Young Men.
A few years ago I wrote a book titled "Dirty Young Men," with stories about young guys who like men or women their own age and . . . old (not older) men. As I myself get longer in the tooth, I learn more and more about these characters. I wish I were younger so could write a PH.D. thesis about this phenomenon. Of course, it would not be accepted because my esteemed professors would find the subject too scandalous and the information grossly exaggerated.
Today I want to write about the married (not divorced) "Dirty Young Men." Though, actually, some are not all that young. To my great surprise, in gay ads, the higher one's age, the more likely one is to hear from younger guys lusting after him - his only advertised virtue being his dotage.
I need to digress here for a moment. Why would anyone happy with his sex workers seek out "Dirty Young Men?" Well, every now and then I want to re-asses my value on the gay San Francisco exchange. Not much, to be sure - except with the Daddy Seekers. (Not sugar daddies hunters.)
The noncommercial ads (that is, not sex work ads) almost invariably seek an older man to penetrate, dominate, and abuse the younger guy. This is not always so, of course, but much more often than the other way around. The advertiser will at times refer to himself as straight and offer his "virgin ass." Often, there is a put down of his wife, like: "The bitch is away and I have the house for myself." Very common are exhortations for discretion. These are always amusing. Does the advertiser think that his older gay contact usually invites his friends and neighbors to watch the proceedings?
In one area married men do pull rank. Without much thinking on their part, they inform the advertiser that they wouldn't mind seeing his picture but they will not supply theirs. After all, they are straight and have to be cautious. Mostly they are satisfied with no photo exchange, because they are after older men who need not be particularly attractive for their age.
Naturally, they want to make sure that they don't bring home to their wives little and not-so-little sexual plagues, but they also want to indulge in everything. This creates a guilt feeling in them during the session. Needless to say, they don't understand their own desires. Their wives would be even less likely to figure out their competition.
I will say that these encounters are often physically satisfying because of the great excitement of the "straight" partners. Emotionally, they are barren. The nagging question of the married partner, "What on earth am I doing in this setting," is very much on their minds. It is never discussed and, indeed, has no rational answer.
The chances of the younger guy getting cold feet at the last moment are pretty substantial. The e-mailing back and forth might be titillating enough. It is extremely rare that regardless of the intensity of the session, there will be encores. It is too threatening a situation for the married men.
A few years ago I wrote a book titled "Dirty Young Men," with stories about young guys who like men or women their own age and . . . old (not older) men. As I myself get longer in the tooth, I learn more and more about these characters. I wish I were younger so could write a PH.D. thesis about this phenomenon. Of course, it would not be accepted because my esteemed professors would find the subject too scandalous and the information grossly exaggerated.
Today I want to write about the married (not divorced) "Dirty Young Men." Though, actually, some are not all that young. To my great surprise, in gay ads, the higher one's age, the more likely one is to hear from younger guys lusting after him - his only advertised virtue being his dotage.
I need to digress here for a moment. Why would anyone happy with his sex workers seek out "Dirty Young Men?" Well, every now and then I want to re-asses my value on the gay San Francisco exchange. Not much, to be sure - except with the Daddy Seekers. (Not sugar daddies hunters.)
The noncommercial ads (that is, not sex work ads) almost invariably seek an older man to penetrate, dominate, and abuse the younger guy. This is not always so, of course, but much more often than the other way around. The advertiser will at times refer to himself as straight and offer his "virgin ass." Often, there is a put down of his wife, like: "The bitch is away and I have the house for myself." Very common are exhortations for discretion. These are always amusing. Does the advertiser think that his older gay contact usually invites his friends and neighbors to watch the proceedings?
In one area married men do pull rank. Without much thinking on their part, they inform the advertiser that they wouldn't mind seeing his picture but they will not supply theirs. After all, they are straight and have to be cautious. Mostly they are satisfied with no photo exchange, because they are after older men who need not be particularly attractive for their age.
Naturally, they want to make sure that they don't bring home to their wives little and not-so-little sexual plagues, but they also want to indulge in everything. This creates a guilt feeling in them during the session. Needless to say, they don't understand their own desires. Their wives would be even less likely to figure out their competition.
I will say that these encounters are often physically satisfying because of the great excitement of the "straight" partners. Emotionally, they are barren. The nagging question of the married partner, "What on earth am I doing in this setting," is very much on their minds. It is never discussed and, indeed, has no rational answer.
The chances of the younger guy getting cold feet at the last moment are pretty substantial. The e-mailing back and forth might be titillating enough. It is extremely rare that regardless of the intensity of the session, there will be encores. It is too threatening a situation for the married men.
Labels: Married (gay) Men
