Saturday, November 25, 2006
The Human Element
One of my regular sex workers just visited me. We talked for a long time about his mother who is in intensive care in the hospital. He is her principal caregiver and was very upset about her deteriorating condition. There was little he or I could do about the situation but our conversation made him feel better.
Of course, in the end there was sex between us, but that had been taken for granted all along. The subject was never even hinted at during out long talk about his mother. Many clients deliberately want to know as little as possible about the lives of their workers so they wouldn't get involved. Their reasoning is that the worker is there for only one reason, which is certainly not to discuss the poor health of his mother. Yet because of our long conversation before we went to bed, there was even greater tenderness between us than usually is the case. All he needed was someone to listen to him! True, he gets paid to provide a service not to tell his client sad stories. But he is not an electrician or a plumber. As far as I am concerned, I believe you cannot hug, cuddle, and kiss someone, without caring about his state of mind.
Having just lost his job, he would have performed his duties as a sex worker regardless of whether we had discussed the main problem in his life at that particular juncture. But he would only have gone through the motions. His mind would have been somewhere else and he would have wanted to bring the session to a close as soon as possible. In this particular case, he derived comfort from our conversation prior to plopping into the bed and wanted the session to be lengthy and truly emotive for both of us.
One of my regular sex workers just visited me. We talked for a long time about his mother who is in intensive care in the hospital. He is her principal caregiver and was very upset about her deteriorating condition. There was little he or I could do about the situation but our conversation made him feel better.
Of course, in the end there was sex between us, but that had been taken for granted all along. The subject was never even hinted at during out long talk about his mother. Many clients deliberately want to know as little as possible about the lives of their workers so they wouldn't get involved. Their reasoning is that the worker is there for only one reason, which is certainly not to discuss the poor health of his mother. Yet because of our long conversation before we went to bed, there was even greater tenderness between us than usually is the case. All he needed was someone to listen to him! True, he gets paid to provide a service not to tell his client sad stories. But he is not an electrician or a plumber. As far as I am concerned, I believe you cannot hug, cuddle, and kiss someone, without caring about his state of mind.
Having just lost his job, he would have performed his duties as a sex worker regardless of whether we had discussed the main problem in his life at that particular juncture. But he would only have gone through the motions. His mind would have been somewhere else and he would have wanted to bring the session to a close as soon as possible. In this particular case, he derived comfort from our conversation prior to plopping into the bed and wanted the session to be lengthy and truly emotive for both of us.
Labels: Comforting a Sex Worker
