Saturday, February 17, 2007
Teaching Clients to Deal With Their Workers.
Since my books about sex workers were published, I have received a fair number of questions from clients who have difficulties in communicating effectively with sex workers. The workers themselves have similar problems, except that they learn early in the game from their mistakes and improve their communication skills. If they don't, they usually give up on this field of endeavor. But their clients, who might hire their first worker at the age of sixty, often don't learn from their mistakes, and give up on finding escorts
To give a specific example: A client calls up a worker and is quoted a fee that is too high for him. At a car dealership he would know exactly what to do: negotiate the price. But with a sex worker, he might become abusive (for instance, "I saw your picture and you are not worth that much,") or just hang up the phone. Most workers try to obtain the best fee. If the client simply says, "I'm sorry, I can't pay that much," the worker will ask. "Well, what did you have in mind?" Usually, after some negotiations, a compromise will be reached.
It seems that many clients are extraordinarily clumsy dealing with workers for a number of reasons. First, they don't feel they should pay for sex though they realize that they are not going to get what they want for free. Second, instead of thinking of the worker as just another independent contractor trying to make a living, they despise what he is doing. Third, they look at themselves, flabby, haggard, bald, wrinkled, and compare themselves to the handsome, slim and muscular worker in the prime of his life. Even if they pay for it, will he want to be with them? Somehow they don't fully realize that this is the escort's chosen job, and he ready for this scenario. The poor looks he will take in stride; bad attitude will offend him.
I don't run into these problems not because I am so much wiser, but because I have started seeing workers when I was a callow youth myself. Over the years I honed my communication skills and often form lasting friendships with my workers.
I have often wondered whether it would not be a good idea to open a school for clients teaching them how to find and deal with escorts.
Since my books about sex workers were published, I have received a fair number of questions from clients who have difficulties in communicating effectively with sex workers. The workers themselves have similar problems, except that they learn early in the game from their mistakes and improve their communication skills. If they don't, they usually give up on this field of endeavor. But their clients, who might hire their first worker at the age of sixty, often don't learn from their mistakes, and give up on finding escorts
To give a specific example: A client calls up a worker and is quoted a fee that is too high for him. At a car dealership he would know exactly what to do: negotiate the price. But with a sex worker, he might become abusive (for instance, "I saw your picture and you are not worth that much,") or just hang up the phone. Most workers try to obtain the best fee. If the client simply says, "I'm sorry, I can't pay that much," the worker will ask. "Well, what did you have in mind?" Usually, after some negotiations, a compromise will be reached.
It seems that many clients are extraordinarily clumsy dealing with workers for a number of reasons. First, they don't feel they should pay for sex though they realize that they are not going to get what they want for free. Second, instead of thinking of the worker as just another independent contractor trying to make a living, they despise what he is doing. Third, they look at themselves, flabby, haggard, bald, wrinkled, and compare themselves to the handsome, slim and muscular worker in the prime of his life. Even if they pay for it, will he want to be with them? Somehow they don't fully realize that this is the escort's chosen job, and he ready for this scenario. The poor looks he will take in stride; bad attitude will offend him.
I don't run into these problems not because I am so much wiser, but because I have started seeing workers when I was a callow youth myself. Over the years I honed my communication skills and often form lasting friendships with my workers.
I have often wondered whether it would not be a good idea to open a school for clients teaching them how to find and deal with escorts.
Labels: A School for Sex Workers' Clients?
